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| ABOUT ME |
Name: Miguel Paolo Yap Nickname: Migs Birthdate: October 1, 1982 Gender: Male Height: 5'11" Nationality: Filipino School: University of Asia and the Pacific Eyes: Brown-close-to-black Hair: Natural Black Star Sign: Libra Girl Obsession: Oriental beauties Faves Movie: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King TV Shows: Lost, Alias, WWE Raw, WWE SmackDown! Video Games: Samurai Warriors, Dynasty Warriors 4 Books: The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, Veronika Decides to Die Musicians: Brian McKnight, Utada Hikaru, Clay Aiken, Joss Stone Songs: Til They Take My Heart Away Athlete: Tim Duncan Dislikes: Nonsense music, Kobe Bryant, boy-bands, excessively kikay girls Relationship Status: Single 
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 I was really saddened by Larry Fonacier's injury. Sure, I've been out of Ateneo for quite a while, and I'm really into my new school, but apparently the true-blue trooper in me hasn't quite died yet. On the basketball side his loss really hurts the Ateneans' Championship hopes. But on another note, not only was Fonacier a batchmate and fellow Atenean, he's also a childhood friend. I kinda feel for his loss. It's a bad way to end his last year in the UAAP, and it sucks that it had to happen to one of the few players without a bloated ego, and who actually works and plays hard. My academic performance this sem has been disappointing so far. But it seems I got a boost from Calculus today. I actually feel good about the test I just took. And that's Calculus, man. I really hope it has given me the boost I've been aching for. I need something to bolster my morale and to get me to transcend my current mediocrity. Theology has been depressing. It has brought to my attention a lot of points that made me realize how spiritually dead I already am. The worst part is that on hindsight, it seems I should've known this even before being more explicitly informed. I know what I've been up to the past few years, and not everything I've done are things I'm proud of. And I've felt this strange sorrow and emptiness for quite a while now, too. Ugh. Part of me says ignorance was bliss, another says it's good that I'm finally enlightened. Will I do something about it, though? That remains to be seen. I think I've developed this dangerous knack for pursuing the unattainable. I know life involves dreams and risks, but I don't think it's healthy to keep persisting with things you can never have. It can wear you out, as you'll end up sapping your own energy and self-esteem. And yet this is the hole I find myself digging. I just wish I can be more determined and ambitious with more than I'm currently preoccupied with. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Perhaps. But what if you're more like a rock, that loses a part of itself with every crushing blow? Then as more blows chip away at you, you'll end up a smashed pile of dust and rubble. This is getting long. I'll cut it here for now. ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 9:40 PM 
personality tests by similarminds.com ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 7:39 PM
Not something to be proud of, and something that has to change. Good fricking luck, though.
personality tests by similarminds.com ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 9:07 PM
I feel really sick about this, but there remains a part of me that still seeks restitution, maybe even vengeance, for the wrongs I've suffered and the pain I've endured. But that would be being self-righteous. I know. I don't even want to have these feelings anymore. As far as I'm concerned, I just want to go on, move ahead, find my niche and my happiness. And that end is becoming all the clearer in my view... if not for this invisible string inexplicably still hooked on my insides, that painfully pulls at me from behind. And then, the nagging illusion that I need someone. Bah. If ever I do end up with someone, I don't want to do so simply because I need her to fill some non-existent void in me, or because I need her to validate my existence. Hahaha. Melancholic, melodramatic sentiments again. I'm really beginning to despise feeling too much. ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 10:24 PM
And this song of hers makes me wonder if I'll ever be someone's...... Beautiful Disaster He drowns in his dreams An exquisite extreme I know He's as damned as he seems And more heaven than a heart could hold And if I try to save him My whole world could cave in It just ain't right It just ain't right Oh when I don't know I don't know what he's after But he's so beautiful Such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster He's magical myth As strong as what I believe A tragedy with More damage than a soul should see And do I try to change him So hard not to blame him Hold on tight Hold on tight Oh cuz I don't know I don't know what he's after But he's so beautiful Such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster I'm longing for love and the logical But he's only happy hysterical I'm waiting for some kind of miracle Waited so long So long He's soft to the touch But frayed at the end he breaks He's never enough And still he's more than I can take Oh cuz I don't know I don't know what he's after But he's so beautiful Such a beautiful disaster And if I could hold on Through the tears and the laughter Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster He's beautiful Such a beautiful disaster ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 12:41 AM
Then again, I'm not much good at all the other categories. Strange... ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 9:17 PM
For some reason, for as long as I can remember, many of my friends have always come up to me for advice and stuff. What's a friend to do? Naturally, I readily give my take on the subject or problem or whatever, in the hopes that I can be helpful. Well tonight, it just struck me that mabe I shouldn't be too ready to do so. I mean, what if I think I'm being helpful but it turns out I'm leading my friend down the wrong path? Or what if what I say has the wrong effect on the person, and despite my best intentions something terrible happens? I don't think anyone would want to be responsible (even just in part) for such a thing. And simply putting up some sort of disclaimer before I prattle off won't do any good. It's definitely more complicated than that. Gosh. What's a friend to do? Maybe I'm feeling too much again. Breathe, Migs. Wooosaaahhh. ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 8:47 PM
"It's really hard when you feel too much, noh?" And I thought, yes, it is. It damn sure is. Those who know me well enough would know that compared to most guys I'm quite emotional. While this is a part of me I've come to accept, even love, because of certain advantages it has given me, it has also made a lot of things more difficult for me. My dismissal from Ateneo, the break-up with my old girlfriend, and other such dilemmas, left me more hung-up than most people would have been had they been in my place. In fact, even now, there are a number of things that make me wish I didn't "feel" so much. It makes me wonder if I would have ultimately been a better person if I were more "insensitive" or "unfeeling". Or manhid. Fewer things would get to me, or affect me in ways I don't want. Maybe I would have enjoyed more achievements. Maybe I'd be more likeable. Hell, maybe I'd actually be manly, attractive even. Then maybe I wouldn't feel this way so often. But then I wouldn't be me. Perhaps this is my gift and my curse, at the risk of being a Spider-Man rip-off. This is the hand I've been dealt with, and though the cards may not all be great and though I misplay them at times, it's my hand. How hard it is, indeed, when you feel too much. ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 3:51 PM
If only I could really be classified as "yummy"..... And graceful?? Me? The hell??!
Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com I would've preferred changing into a wolf and having Jennifer Garner as a mate, but oh well... Kelly Hu's hot, and there's much mischief to be done when you can turn into gas..... ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 12:21 AM
And I also know how that boy must have felt when the wolf slaughtered his flock, and when it finally sunk its teeth into his own flesh. It goes to show that my little knack for deception is really not a gift, but a curse that must be purged from an otherwise honest and sincere person. I just wish circumstances would allow me to prove that I'm no compulsive liar, rather than leave me as a helpless young lad facing the very jaws of death incarnate. On another note... Sometimes you think you know some people. And yet after days upon weeks upon months, they still manage to come up with a hundred ways to surprise you. One of them I perceived as sweet and innocent. Sugar and spice and everything nice actually brought to life. Several months later would reveal a judgmental, intolerant side little-known to most people. A wonderfully good person nonetheless, of course, but apparently someone whose over-all disposition would come to mix with mine as oil does with water. A pity, I must say. But that's life, and that's reality. Another struck me as an attractive well-to-do person without a care in the world. The typical prissy snob who wouldn't even spare me (or anyone alse unworthy, for that matter) the pleasure of a second glance. But time would reveal a down-to-earth, mature individual whose literary side would surprisingly jive with mine. The biggest surprise, one which I'm truly grateful for, would be the revelation of one of the friends who would actually make the cold ocean of people a warmer, more welcoming place to dwell in. Thank heaven for the reminder that not all the good people in the world were meant to live in harmony with me. No one is so gracious and so perfect as to deserve the friendship of the entire human race. ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 10:08 PM
1. I really should stop falling for the wrong girls. By wrong, I do not mean terrible or loathsome. I just have this unfortunate knack for liking girls with whom an intimate relationship, even if possible, could never work. 2. I need a high GWA this sem. No, this year. So I'd better start acting like it. 3. The past is the past is the past. While it has brought me to where I am at present, it need not dictate my future. That would be up to me. 4. I am the eldest of three siblings. Not the youngest. Consequently, anything I do influences them greatly. This is not something I can always take lightly, nor should I. 5. Growing old is unavoidable. Growing up - now that's optional. 6. Then again, I'm as young as I feel. 7. Sydney Bristow and Irina Derevko are fictional characters. They do not exist. ...at every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss... - Paolo Coelho, "Eleven Minutes" Migs, 4:14 PM
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